Wednesday, July 11, 2012

God Will Help Me Break Through

I want to start a child care service for children who have autism.  I'm trying to figure out how to advertise the service.  I don't know what your area is like, but my town is very bureaucratic.  There are limited resources in my area.  We have a few dominate families who get all the services, and then we have alot of families who receive little to no services.  I call them the "haves" and the "have nots."

The "haves" control all of the state funding for autistic kids, and they provide all these workshops with all these different doctors and stuff that really doesn't amount to any real legitimate help for the  "have nots." 

Well needless to say, I've been trying desperately to provide help for the "have nots."  It's the Jesus in me that tells me that I need to do something.  I am experiencing some road blocks from the "haves." They always want me to work through the traditional system that is suppose to provide help for families with developmental disabilites.  This system is biased towards the "haves." 

I'm trying to figure out how to break through.  We need to create a community for the disabled where we are all helping one another.  We have an autism support group but this group is run by the "haves."  They have no interest in helping families other than providing speakers and workshops.  In some ways, I think they are afraid to help others because they don't want to lose their benefits.

I know that with God, all things are possible.  I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. I know that looking for a cure is very important and listening to the latest research has it's place. But what did Jesus teach us?  

Jesus said this in Mark 12:30, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." We all know this commandment, but what does this truly mean?  This means that I should want other children to have access to the same resources that my child has.  I should want my neighbors to prosper along side of me.  I should treat my neighbors the way I would want to be treated.  "Haves" and "have nots" should not exist among God's people.  We should share everything we have.  If we know all this, then why don't we do it? 

The answer is quite simple.  We don't do it, because we lack faith.  We are afraid to give up our possessions and help others because we don't trust God. The local autism support group is not willing to help out more, because they don't trust God.  But I know God and I trust God that whatsoever I do to glorify the Mighty Name of Jesus, that He will bless me and bless others through me.

When we operate according to God's laws and His plans, that's when He provides the blessing. The greatest thing we can do is put our selfishness aside and operate according to God's law.You may be sitting at home reading this blog feeling bad because your child has autism, and you can't find any help.  The greatest thing you can do right now is reach out to another family like yours and offer help in Jesus Name. 

My family is no different than yours.  I have an autistic child and a husband, and we don't get any financial assistance from the government. We don't get SSI benefits or Food Stamps.  But rather than focus on what I don't have, I am determined to love in Jesus Mighty Name.  Knowing that with Love comes blessing from our Eternal Father. I am not afraid and I am not worried, for I know that God Will Help Me Break Through.

May God bless you on this great and wonderful day!

Friday, July 6, 2012

The Call Back

Last Wednesday, I went to the doctor for my annual mammogram, and yes I got the dreaded call back from the doctor.  He said there was a spot on my right breast that was not there last year and he wanted me to come back in for more tests. He needed to take a closer look at the spot. So he wanted to do a mammogram with different views plus a sonogram. I immediately thought, what if this is cancer? Who will take care of my son?  I was a little nervous about the situation but I soon decided that it was better to go in and get it checked out as oppose to not going. So, I made my appointment for the following Friday.

Although I was nervous, I knew that everything was in God's hands.  Jesus is preeminent in all things (Colossians 1:18), meaning that He is superior and dominant in everything.  Speaking of Jesus Christ, Paul says these words in Colossians 1:16, "For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible..." Therefore I decided to seek the Truth of God regarding my situation.  Everything is under Jesus' feet.  He knows everything and Jesus can deliver us from anything. Jesus said, "Seek, and ye shall find (Matthew 7:7)." So I sought the Lord in prayer.

On a personal note, there is just so much I want to do for the Lord on earth. I want to advocate for the disabled in Jesus Mighty Name through ministry and service. I want to bless others in Jesus name. There is so much work I need to do and being sick would delay my work. Therefore I spent Thursday in prayer. I asked the Lord to deliver me from this situation. I asked for my next mammogram and sonogram results to be normal.  I desperately needed to hear from the Lord. 

And the Lord answered me.  While reading about how the enemy tried to tempt Jesus in Luke 4:10-11, I noticed that the enemy was quoting scripture from Psalm 91:11,12.  Curious about whether the enemy quoted the scripture correctly, I went and read Psalms 91 and there was my answer.    I felt Psalms 91 on the inside while I was reading it.

This is Psalms 91:
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence (Psalms 91:1-3).

Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness (Psalms 91: 5-6).  A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. Because though hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways (Psalms 91:7,9-11). 

He shall call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation (Psalms 91:15-16). 

I felt so good reading these Words of the Lord. On Friday morning, I wrote Psalms 91 on a piece of paper and took it to the doctor's office with me. When I got to the doctor's office I noticed that a different technician was going to conduct my 2nd mammogram and the sonogram. I thought it was odd because I was just at the doctor's office the other day, and I thought I would have the same technician.  The situation felt peculiar, but I dismissed the odd feeling and began to focus on God. Before I started my second round of testing, I read Psalms 91 again. 

Lying on the bed for the sonogram, the technician told me that she understood that getting a call back was a pretty nervous thing and she promised to complete the testing as soon as possible.  My response to her was, "It's okay, Jesus is with me."  The technician then proceeded to talk to me about her brother-in-law and how terrible he treated her sister.  He apparently was very abusive to her sister and niece.  Then the technician confided in me that she could not bring herself to pray for such a wicked man as her brother-in-law. Her mom had been telling her that she needed to forgive him.  And when the technician's sister was diaganosed with breast cancer a few years ago, the brother-in-law had apparently, told her sister that she deserved breast cancer.  He completely ridiculed the sister in her time of pain and despair. This was the main reason why the technician would not forgive him. 

Now keep in mind, I'm hearing all this while I myself is being checked for a suspicious spot on my breast.  But soon, a light bulb went off in my head.  I knew I was going to be alright because the Lord told me so through Psalms 91.  This extra testing was not about me, but it was about the technician.  Jesus told us that in order for us to receive forgiveness from the Father, we have to forgive others. So the Lord gave her a simple message through me, I told her, "You have to pray for him. Remember our battle is not against  flesh and blood but it's against spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12).  It's not him who's persecuting you, it's the enemy within him that is tormenting you." 

The technician became very silent and she proceeded to do her job.  Deep down inside she knew I was speaking the truth.  I could tell that she recognized the scripture (Ephesians 6:12) that I paraphrased.  She completed the tests and step out of the room. While she was gone, I got on my knees and prayed still asking for a normal test.  Then the technician came back in the room and told me that the spot was only a cyst, and that it was not life threatening.  I thanked the Lord.  I asked the technician her name and I told her that I would pray for her and her family.  She smiled and thanked me. 

Jesus is so wonderful and so great. He gave me complete comfort in a very stressful situation and at the same time He allowed me to minister to someone else in love.  I felt so good ministering to her.  I could tell that this technician needed to talk to someone about her situation. I am a person with no job, limited economic resources, and I have an autistic child, yet God chose me, and I feel blessed.  Praise His Name! Overall, I'm so thankful that God chose me to encourage her in the Lord.  Jesus is my Rock and my Refuge. He delivered me.   Jesus is the reason why I live....     Thank you Lord Jesus...

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Last Week of Work

This is my last week of work.  The company laid me off permanently.  I'm not 100% sure why they are laying me off, but this is what they told me: "we simply don't have the money to pay you anymore." I always did good work, so this was a complete shock to me. I've heard all kinds of rumors at work, about what is "really" going on, and I spent the last few weeks feeling a little uncomfortable thinking there was someone at work who just didn't like me.  After all, they did tell me a while back that my job was secure through the end of the year. Now they can't pay me. I oftentimes wonder if they got tired of hearing about my son's autism problem, and perhaps they lost patience with me.  Keeping a full time job and having a son with autism is one of the most difficult things in the world to do. 

There's alot I have to do for my son just to keep him in school, which includes me making daily trips to the school to give him supplements over my lunch hour.  There's all kinds of meetings I have to attend. And then here's my favorite one: the distress call I get from the teacher when my son is just not cooperating and needs to go home. Yes, emergencies are the norm, when you are dealing with autism. Perhaps my supervisor lost patience with me.

I kept rewinding the tape over and over again in my mind, thinking about all the reasons why they decided to let me go.  And then 2 weeks ago,  it just hit me.  I don't know why they decided to lay me off.  Unless God reveals it to me, then I won't know why.  I do know that I forgive them all.  Yes, this is not a fair situation.  I didn't do anything wrong at work.  They are asking me to go above and beyond in my final weeks.  Then the Lord spoke to me in my sleep and told me that I can't rise up against them.  And so far, I have not, and I have no intentions of doing so.  I haven't complained. and I haven't made one smart remark to them.

Instead I'm walking around professing my faith to my co-workers.  Letting them know, that even though I will be laid off in a few days,  I'm still going to do my job to the best of my ability.  Not because my supervisor says so, but because God says so. I serve The Most High God.  And God is the One who ordained her to be my supervisor in the first place.

I Peter 2:18-19 says "Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.  For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully."    Therefore I will continue to do good work until the end.  I will do it because of my relationship with Christ.  For I am crucified with Christ.

I love God so much. I don't want to do anything that goes against His Word.  I trust Jesus that He has already taken care of my situation. I'm continuing to work. I have prayed for my supervisor and her bosses.  I pray that they will accept Christ as their Savior and choose to live for Him. I even hugged my supervisor and told her that I love her with the love of Christ Jesus. And I let all those questions surrounding my layoff go.  This is the first time I've been unemployed in 16 years.  This is new territory for me, but I know my Savior has my back.  For God has a plan for my life and I know it's a good plan that will bless many. 

Right about now, I'm thanking God because I had that job for 6 years.  They were very considerate and lenient with me and the money was good. I spent 6 years witnessing to people on my job about the goodness of Christ.  My co-workers were mostly foreigners who had no firsthand knowledge of Christ.  I am so thankful that God put me in a position to witness and now it's time to move on.  I thank God for giving me that job, and I thank Him for taking it away. 

Job said it best, "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away;  blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21)."

I love Jesus

Thursday, May 24, 2012

I Believe God

Hello All,

My son was diagnosed with a severe case of autism at the age of 3. He wasn't speaking, his tantrums were out of control, and he was basically living in a world of his own, not even responsive to his name. I didn't know anything about autism at the time and I thought there had to be some kind of treatment.  But finding out, there was no known cure, was both shocking and painful all at the same time. Compounding my pain, were these hurtful words that a school social worker told me when I was trying my best to be optimistic, 'Oh, he will always be autistic.'

I didn't think I could make it thru this storm of confusion and pain, but because of the Love of Jesus Christ, here I am almost 14 years later.  And those painful words from that social worker have stuck with me all this time. I remember it like it was yesterday. Ofcourse, I know the social worker wasn't trying to be mean and hurtful. I actually love her to this day, because she taught me so much about the disability.  So why did her words sting so bad?  Because they were faithless words.  My faith in Christ told me to reject those words. 

Jesus said, "...with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26)." And He healed people with various mental and physical disabilities.  Jesus also said, '...What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them (Mark 11:24).'  See her words were in direct conflict with what I know to be true about my God. 

So, a couple of years ago I had an amazing dream about my son.  He was talking and interacting with me like a regular person would. In my dreams, he was healed.  I woke up praising God's Holy Name.  Have you ever had a dream that was so real that you actually had to convince yourself that you were dreaming?  That's how this dream was for me. 

Today my son is 16 years old still suffering from the effects of autism.  His speech is like that of 2 year old, but his overall comprehension is very high.  He's constantly improving both socially and behaviorally.   I thank God for all of his improvements big and small.  Well, I know what what you're thinking right about now. What about the dream? And here is my answer:

I don't know when, I don't know where, and I don't know how, but I do know this:  My son won't always be autistic because I know God.   See faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God (Rom 10:17). Jesus is my Rock, my Salvation, and my Healer. 

See, I can choose to believe God or I can believe the social worker. Which one would you choose? Which one are you choosing right now?

Habakkuk 2:4 says, "...the just shall live by his faith." And therefore, I believe the dream that God showed me and I'm loving God thru the autism. And I will praise and glorify God all the days of my life.